Archive for December, 2007

The Orphanage (2007/2008 US RELEASE)

Friday, December 28th, 2007

The Orphanage

The movie premiered out in LA today but hits theatres nation wide on Jan 11 2008. If you want to see it now, its playing at the Archlight in Sherman Oaks and in Hollywood as well as AMC Burbank and LandMark Theatre in LA. NOT THE LANDMARK but simply LandMark Theatre. Dont get it confused with THE LANDMARK theatre that is in Westwood by the UCLA campus where we had the 48 hr film festival this year.

ok so the film. its being said its this years Pan’s Labyrinth and its not, not at all. they are too completely different styles of movies and works of film. Guillermo Del Torro produced this movie and thats it. He did not shoot it like he did Pan’s and so the camera work isnt as great nor is it full of fantasy and cool weird stuff. but ya Del Torro being envolved are teh only two things this might have in common.

well its about a woman and her husband who decides to buy and move into the house where she grew up in as an orphan. so the house was once an orphanage…tada! She wants to adopt more children (she has one) and start her own orphanage for children with diseases. Well thats when crazy shit starts to happen. Her son see’s ghost! and the movie kicks off.

the trailers lead you to believe that its a horror movie and its not. no murders here. its more suspense/mystery than anything. granted it made me jump about two or three times but thats it. no gore or any major violence either. its not one of these new age american “horrors” that Eli Roth brings us now a days.

Its also in spanish if you didnt know. i dont know when or where the movie takes place but the main actress was annoying at times bc she had a Spanish accent (From Spain) and the semi lisp thing was a times annoying.

but it showed a good story of a maternal love for a child that you raise but isnt really yours.

overall id say to wait for the dvd on this one. im sure you can find it on netflix or some mom and pop video store bc this movie has been out for a few months now, but its definitely not worth your $9+ or in my case bc i saw it at teh Archlight $14 + $2 for VALIDATED parking and then the hassle of dealing with assholes who cant drive and then driving all the fuck way out there but idk id wait, not worth your money.

reviewed by

-albert

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Alien v.s Predator Requiem……AVP-R or simply Part 2

Wednesday, December 26th, 2007

Well Happy Holidays everyone, i hope you guys spent it with friends and loved ones and are all still perfectly ok.

I saw AVP-R after work today and i only saw it bc i saw the first one and both predator movies and just two alien movies. So i felt obligated to see this one.

AVP-R starts off where part one left off. The Predators leave and as they get on their ship one of the dead predators had an Alien baby in it that turns it into a Super Alien, like a Predator Alien. It takes out all the predators on the ship and then it crash lands in Colorado somewhere. As the last Predator is dying he sends an S.O.S to the home world of the Predators and One…just ONE predator comes to earth in a matter of minutes to kick some ass.

Now i wasnt too impress with it bc the action wasnt all to great bc it all took place at night and like Transformers, the fight scenes were close up and dark so it was hard to tell what the hell was happening. Also i was disappointed with the kills, not many of them were shown. They would just cut away to blood squirts or to the next scene. It followed the guide lines of a horror movie too, i thought that was weird bc the slut dies, so does the black guy, the bully, the sheriff, it takes place in a forest like town that is way away from anything and well you get the picture.

Overall it thought it moved slow for a 90 min movie and well i dont recommend you see this in theatres, save your $9+ and eat a decent meal or buy some ga. wait for the dvd or watch it at someone else’s expense or something but dont waste your own money on this one.

ALSO!!!!!!
Back in 2004 i worked on a Short called Batman:Dead End and it was the number one non pornographic download on the net according to Maxim Magazine. So ya check it out. It was shot by my friend Vince Toto. But ya check it out its a cool scene with Predator and Aliens and Batman.

Link to Batman:Dead End____ http://vincetotodp.com/batmandeadend.htm

thanks

-albert

p.s

sorry its not a clickable link but i havnt figured out how to do that with WordPress yet so if anyone can help id appreciate it.

thanks again

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SWEENEY TODD

Thursday, December 20th, 2007

Sweeny Todd

Ah so yes Sweeny Todd. I was invited to a pre premier day of Sweeney Todd at the grove and i had to say that i was gona watch the movie anyway. i say this bc those of you who know me and read my reviews know that im not a very big Johnny or Burton or Elfman or a fan of i guess any actor or person who had anything to do with this movie.

why? idk why i just dont like their work. but i was gona see this regardless bc i saw trailers and thought the cinematography was great as well as the visual effects, and you know what? They were.

The story is nothing new, its about a man who has a hot wife and another man (one in power) wants her so he gets rid of the husband. 15 years Later Todd returns for vengeance!!

Im not fond of musicals either but this movie was very entertaining running about 2 hours. it was clever and well paced but if you pay close attention to the subtle things (i will not say no more than that) the movie becomes extremely predictable. The imagery and irony in this movie are well taken and really my only 2 complaints are that the songs often ran too long and that the editing wasnt the sharpest (continuity errors). but the music was great and the acting was better, not necessarily the singing from some characters, but the acting was great. shots were great and the visuals were even better.

id say to definitely watch this in theatres its BIG FISH meets KILL BILL. Its a wonderland of blood really. Graphic kills and singing make interesting.

so yes see this

ALSO!!!!!

WE HAVE SWEENEY TODD POSTCARDS TO GIVE TO YOU GUYS AS OUR CHRISTMAS CARDS!!! THEY WERE GIVEN TO US AT THE SHOW. THEY ARE TOTALLY FREE AND WE WILL SHIP THEM AS SOON AS WE GET YOUR ADDRESS. SO HERE’S WHAT YOU DO. LOGIN TO THE SITE. (NOT THE THE MYSPACE!!!!!!) LOG IN TO THE FILM REVIEW PAGE, LEAVE A COMMENT WITH YOUR ADDRESS, NO NEED FOR FULL OR REAL NAMES AND WE WILL SEND SWEENEY TODD CHRISTMAS POST CARDS TO I THINK THE FIRST 25 PEOPLE OR SO.

SO LOG IN TO THE FILM REVIEW PART OF THE SITE AND LEAVE A COMMENT AND ITS ALL YOURS.

(NOT THE MYSPACE!!!!!!)

-REVIEWED BY

ALBERT

P.S

HAPPY HOLIDAYS PARTY PEOPLE. BE SAFE. DONT LET DRUNK PEOPLE DRIVE.

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NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN

Tuesday, December 18th, 2007

No Country For Old Men

The slightly improbable has occurred, ladies and gentlemen. Albert has not reviewed a movie before I, Uno The Sexy Man Beast,  and even more astoundingly, I get the pleasure of reviewing a cinematic gem such as

NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN!

There is a God.

I went to see NCFOM with zero expectations. Knowing nothing of the plot or the characters before hand, I was pleased by the opening monologue by Tommy Lee Jones and totally psyched by the brutal 187 on a sheriff some where in a Texas police station. This opening scene opened my eyes to what this film is going to be and I was not in the least bit disappointed.

I’m not going to give away the story but let me just tell you that this is no borefest. To be brief, a man finds money and bad people want to find the money and kill the man. There are cowboys, drug money, silenced shotguns, and murderous psychopaths aplenty in NCFOM and they are delivered to you in all the everyday real world glory the Coen brothers could muster.

Allow me to give you a warning before hand, folks. I’m not prone to unabashed flattery but I am going to gush on this one. I loved this film.  it isn’t often that I will go and pay to sit in a movie theater to watch a film TWICE since I am one destitute muffuggah but NCFOM was very worth it. The characters are so vivid. They are some of the most alive people ever to hit the silver screen. Tommy Lee Jones and Josh Brolin gave outstanding performances but the show stealer of this film is Javier Bardem. Bardem’s performance as Anton Chigurh is mind blowing. Just take my word for it. Also, the cinematography is both beautiful and startling, allowing the audience to be immersed in this story and captivated all the way through.

I don’t have a complaint that comes to mind…  but some are not satisfied with the ending. I think it’s because folks don’t want to accept it. Part of me agrees with them but only because I didn’t want the film to end. I wanted to follow the lives of these characters even further until all things were finally resolved.

As with many a masterpiece in literature and film, some times the resolution must be left to the imagination of those who read or watch, no matter how difficult it is for us to let it be, though it is probably for the best.

I wish I made this film.

Do I want you to go watch No Country For Old Men in theaters?

Yes and this is one you are going to want to own when it comes out on DVD/Blu-Ray/HDVD.

Review by,

Uno The Sexy Man Beast

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I AM LEGEND

Friday, December 14th, 2007

I am Legend

Ok

well first of all thank you for coming here to read my film reviews, much appreciated.

Ok well i went to see I am Legend at winnetka and though there were places to line up, not one line was being used until after i left. weird.

The movie is about a virus that spreads across the world and turns everyone into zombie/vampire like creatures that hunt by night and hide by day. Apparently they lose all their pigmentation and cant be exposed to UV rays or they will catch fire.

Will Smith plays out main character as Dr.Robert Neval, a military Colonel who is a scientist at ground zero (NEW YORK) The movie follows the last man on earth as he tries to find a cure for this disease.

Ok so the movie is about 1h50mn and moves at a good pace. I think it could of been longer though bc things are only half explained. They say where the disease came from but not why or how and they dont show how everyone on earth gets infected. the movie starts three years after the initial outbreak. then all the creatures are CG. So it looks like Smith is being chased around by a bunch of golems. i was exited to see this movie (remake of “The Last man on earth”) but im in the middle about it after seeing it. i wish it was a bit better theres just some things i didnt like and if i say more id kill the ending and what not. but it was an interesting flick, just seeing an empty NYC and a mans struggle to stay alive and save humanity.

see it in theaters is you get a chance.

if not at least see it on dvd

reviewed by

-albert

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FILM REVIEWS ON BOP 15

Thursday, December 13th, 2007

Hey everyone so i finally started posting the Film Reviews on my site.

If you’d like to see reviews prior to these they are on the Bop 15 Myspace page at : www.myspace.com/ballsoutpen15productions

subscribe to it!

thanks for all the support everyone

-albert

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