Archive for January, 2008

CLOVERFIELD

Friday, January 18th, 2008

Cloverfield

ok well i started hating on this movie when i heard it was a JJ Abrams movie bc i hate LOST. I hate how you go into an episode with a bunch a questions and leave it with even more. well you know what ?? Thats how this movie is. Then you wanna know how long it is? Its 84 mins!!!!! 84 mins!!!!!! including titles and credits!!!!! So basically the movie itself is about 65 mins. I know i complain about movies being too long but man this was waaay short. and dont stay after the credits nothing happens. I bet its that short bc they wanted to be “realistic” with the whole, “Its shot on a min dv camera” bc mini dv tapes on SP mode last only 65 mins.
well the story is about a guy who gets a job at a soda company in Japan as a vice president of some kind and is leaving New York. For some stupid reason his brother’s girlfriend throws him a surprise party and then the movie starts. Why the hell would she do that? Why not somone important? anyway. about 1/3 of the movie is the party. 1/3 is them running in New York and the last 1/3 is titles and credits. wheres the monster you ask? well its in about 2 mins of the movie. No lie no exxaggeration. Its on screen for maybe 2 or 3 minutes the entire movie. i mean you get to see what it is, and really when you see it you say, “what the fuck is that?” bc it doesnt look like anything you’d seen. also the movie is rated PG-13 so you dont see any kills! you hear them and ppl talk about them but you see nothing!

ok the the entire movie was shot in handy cam so it was shaky as fuck, think Blair Witch x’s atleast 2. My hat goes of the speciall effects guys bc doing cg with shit footage is hard. but ya you leave asking yourself, “what the fuck was the hype about…and what/where/why/when…monster? army????” NOTHING GETS EXPLAINED!

But one things is for sure….Monsters just hate New York….everyone hates New York, the monsters, aliens, terrorists, ppl from New Jersey, and this week everyone in Green Bay. It seems that whenever Hollywood gets a chance to destroy New York they go on and take it.

also, even though its handy cam shot lookin and ppl arnt always in focus in the shot properly when talking you know what is? PRODUCTS! this movie has like a million product placement ads, from Sophora to Sponge Bobe to Juoicy Fruit, man it was a giant commercial.

also when the monster starts to destroy buildings the first time, pay attention to what buildings fall bc later in the movie they are in a electronic store watching TV and LIVE feed is showing the exact same buildings falling.

so i mean if you have an hour to kill go see it, if not wait for the dvd and dont rent or buy it, borrow it.

so imma say “Stay away not today disco lady” to this one.

the first “big” movie of 08′ is a big flop. i mean i wasnt expecting much but miehi wasted my money on this.

-albert

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There will be Blood

Tuesday, January 8th, 2008

THERE WILL BE BLOOD

Based upon a novel, OIL!, by the prolific writer Upton Sinclair, THERE WILL BE BLOOD kicks it old school. My friend Armando described it as “CITIZEN KANE but better,” and while I agree that it is a piece of cinematic artistry, unlike CITIZEN KANE, THERE WILL BE BLOOD holds no punches as it delivers an epic tale of ugly humanity or lack there of.

It is such a beautifully filthy marathon of a film. The jarring music clashes with the forlorn scenery to create an atmosphere of unrest and untold dangers, masked under the soil as well as the face of Daniel Day-Lewis’s character, Daniel Plainview.

THERE WILL BE BLOOD revolves around the life and times of Daniel Plainview, a souless anti-social oil tycoon who is brought to a desert town in California to drill an ocean of oil. His effect on the surrounding towns people and land brings about interesting circumstances, to say the least.

I must wonder what sort of madness inspires that fuel with which Daniel Day-Lewis sets the silver screen a blaze. The mastery with which he lives in front of the camera is nothing short of captivating. While his supporting cast was superb (kudos to Paul Dano, he definitely held his own) they are dwarfed by DDL’s presence.

My issues with the film are minimal. It’s long. Very long. At 2 hours and 38 minutes, it might be best not to invite the kids or those with A.D.D. If you are expecting something action packed and quickly paced, this movie will not be for you. While far from dull, TWBB requires quite a bit of patience and attention. However, A film of this calibre deserves that much.

If you really take your movies seriously and enjoy being led on a cinematic journey for extended lengths of time, I would most definitely recommend THERE WILL BE BLOOD. You will not be disappointed.

This film is black gold.

Review by,

Uno The Sexy Man Beast

From Albert

This is a LIMITED ENGAGEMENT. See it while you can. It wont get wide release (from what ive heard) and is currently only playing at The Archlight Cinemas in Hollywood and the new one in Sherman Oaks located in the Sherman Oaks Galleria where the old (i think it was an AMC) theatre was. TWBB recently started playing in Sherman Oaks.

And as some of you may know, the Sherman Oaks Archlight is new and not at the same time. Its in the Galleria where the old theatre was. The plus is that you dont pay for parking and that the most you pay for a ticket here is $11.50 and not $14 like at Archlight Hollywood. The bad…well its an Archlight. You pay $3-5 more than anywhere else, showings are few and far in between. They have arranged seating and teh concession stands are not normal!

well thats just me.

i gotta see this film. im not one for long films but ppl say its good and Daniel Day Lewis just won best actor at some award show i saw while channel surfer earlier today. so it must be good.

thanks to Richard for the movie review.

-albert

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ONE MISSED CALL

Sunday, January 6th, 2008

One Missed Call

Alrighty well i went to the movies at Universal this weekend and i think im getting a little paranoid and impatient about the people in the theatre. Its like ive been taking steriods for years and the side effects only kick in while im watching a movie. Im just waiting for someone to talk or to be stupid to get mad at them. Its just that it happens so often its shocking when it doenst happen and at a movie like this i expected it to happen but oddly enough it didnt.

So have you ever seen those commercials that end with “Where you at?” Im sure you have i say that alot and well the movie revolves around Boost Mobile Phones!!! the “Where you at?” is simply a question to find out where you are so that they can  kill you!!

Ok so the movie. Yep you guessed it, its a Japanese remake! We all know what that means, abusive parents and creepy little kids. The movie is about a phone call you get with a ring tone that aint yours and it goes to your voicemail and the voice mail is basically you dieing. It even gives you the time and date of your death. For most people it gave them a two day notice. I on the other hand have yet to receive  a missed call. The thing about it is that if you die, it calls  the next person from your contacts list. so  if you  are friends with someone that has Boost mobile have them delete your number!

all kidding aside, the movie sucked. It was not scary and i want to say that i half jumped twice adding up to just a single jump in a 90 minute horror movie. It wasnt even horror, its a japanese remake so it was more mystery/suspense bc every japansese horror movie has a soon to be victim that needs to find a troubled soul to save their own. Not scary and the CG was horrible, like worst that Matrix Reloaded where Neo Fights Mr. Smith after he meets with the Oracle. Thats how horrible it was. I think theres a scene about 1/3 into the credits i heard something happen as i left my seat all disappointed. Not to disappointed bc i wasnt expecting much, but you know what i mean.

ya so stay away not today disco lady. Dont even rent this one.

what a shitty way to kick off the new year at the movies, but from what ive seen/heard 2008 is gona be promising.

thanks

-reviewed by

albert

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JUNO

Tuesday, January 1st, 2008

Juno

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!

well richard saw this last week and said he’d review it but never did and so when we went shooting Vol.5 out in Hollywood on Sunday we ended up going to Universal after the shoot and watching the movie. Richard saw it again!

ok well the movie is about a 16 yr old girl who gets bored one day, acts like a whore, and well gets pregnant. She then decides to give the baby up for adoption when its born and well the movie follows her around for 9 months and really i cant find anything else about the plot bc nothing happens.

the movie was trying to be funny but serious. but it wasnt either. it wasnt funny enough to make it a comedy or serious enough to say it was a drama. i dont know. i didnt hate it, i just didnt like it. it almost condoned 16 yr olds getting pregnant. The dialogue was annoying tho. Everyone that ive talked to that has seen it (whether they liked it or not) agreed that the dialogue sucked bc it wasnt believable bc no one talks like that. Juno (the character) is “smart and quick” but not in believable matter. its like watching Gilmore Girls. Idk it was weird. The song was catchy tho. Not the lyrics but the tune. We all left the theatre humming it.

so id say to wait for this on dvd. dont let the Spears pregnancy and that she went to the movie premier with her mom influence you on seeing this movie bc thats what its doing to my co-worker Brian. I was gonna tell him about it, but he went all crazy saying he didnt want to know anything bc “its the biggest word of mouth movie of the year” and that he wanted to see it. Really it didnt gain momentum or get a wide release until baby Spears got knocked up.

so ya id hold off on this for a free show or rental or something.

reviewd by

-albert

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