Cloverfield
ok well i started hating on this movie when i heard it was a JJ Abrams movie bc i hate LOST. I hate how you go into an episode with a bunch a questions and leave it with even more. well you know what ?? Thats how this movie is. Then you wanna know how long it is? Its 84 mins!!!!! 84 mins!!!!!! including titles and credits!!!!! So basically the movie itself is about 65 mins. I know i complain about movies being too long but man this was waaay short. and dont stay after the credits nothing happens. I bet its that short bc they wanted to be “realistic” with the whole, “Its shot on a min dv camera” bc mini dv tapes on SP mode last only 65 mins.
well the story is about a guy who gets a job at a soda company in Japan as a vice president of some kind and is leaving New York. For some stupid reason his brother’s girlfriend throws him a surprise party and then the movie starts. Why the hell would she do that? Why not somone important? anyway. about 1/3 of the movie is the party. 1/3 is them running in New York and the last 1/3 is titles and credits. wheres the monster you ask? well its in about 2 mins of the movie. No lie no exxaggeration. Its on screen for maybe 2 or 3 minutes the entire movie. i mean you get to see what it is, and really when you see it you say, “what the fuck is that?” bc it doesnt look like anything you’d seen. also the movie is rated PG-13 so you dont see any kills! you hear them and ppl talk about them but you see nothing!
ok the the entire movie was shot in handy cam so it was shaky as fuck, think Blair Witch x’s atleast 2. My hat goes of the speciall effects guys bc doing cg with shit footage is hard. but ya you leave asking yourself, “what the fuck was the hype about…and what/where/why/when…monster? army????” NOTHING GETS EXPLAINED!
But one things is for sure….Monsters just hate New York….everyone hates New York, the monsters, aliens, terrorists, ppl from New Jersey, and this week everyone in Green Bay. It seems that whenever Hollywood gets a chance to destroy New York they go on and take it.
also, even though its handy cam shot lookin and ppl arnt always in focus in the shot properly when talking you know what is? PRODUCTS! this movie has like a million product placement ads, from Sophora to Sponge Bobe to Juoicy Fruit, man it was a giant commercial.
also when the monster starts to destroy buildings the first time, pay attention to what buildings fall bc later in the movie they are in a electronic store watching TV and LIVE feed is showing the exact same buildings falling.
so i mean if you have an hour to kill go see it, if not wait for the dvd and dont rent or buy it, borrow it.
so imma say “Stay away not today disco lady” to this one.
the first “big” movie of 08′ is a big flop. i mean i wasnt expecting much but miehi wasted my money on this.
-albert
Tags: cloverfield