Archive for August, 2009

Inglourious Basterds

Friday, August 21st, 2009

Inglourious Basterds

So Tarantino brings us this fictional universe set in WWII Nazi-occupied France in 1941/1944. I was really excited to see a Tarantinio WWII movie as I expected it to be racists and brutal but it was not. But i’ll tell you what it was…it was funny and entertaining.

Ok so Brad Pitt plays a field soldier from Tennessee who takes 8 Jewish American soldiers and 2 other enlisted recruits to brutally kill Nazi soldiers so that they can put the fear of God into them. They kill all but one and have him spread the word….

The movie has a double storyline. Brad Pitt is one and the other follows a girl whose family was killed by the Nazi’s and ends up owning a movie theatre that a Nazi war hero attends….all in all its time to kill some Nazi’s

Now the opening scene was great. I think its actually one of the best dialogue scenes Ive seen. Its up there with ‘There will be blood” but it was long as hell….like 20 some minutes…after that the movie jumps to 1944 and Pitt was in the movie for what seemed like 30 mins. Its a 2:36min movie and at least an hour was taken up by the opening scene and a real long scene in a basement bar…… Ya the movie follows this girl and her theatre more than it does Pitt and his guys.

Ultimately it needed a little less dialogue and a lot more Nazi killing. I expected it to be brutal but it really wasnt. I wanted to see some graphic kills but nothing too crazy happened….

ALSO!!! The trailers lie!! The scene where the dude is running down the hallway with the chain gun….NOT IN THE MOVIE!! or was it? I dont remember bc i was too busy staring at the lower thirds and reading. But im pretty sure it wasnt in there….maybe in a flash back?

I hate when trailers lie. But anyway. The story was good, the dialogue was cool EXCEPT for the fact that about 90% of the movie is sub titled. I think its cool that they kept it real with people speaking their native language and not pretending everyone speaks English. But ya be ready to read for 2hrs when you go see this. That takes away from the scenes a bit. Hands down to the actors bc some had to know or memorize lines in 3+ languages. You get German, French, Italian, English…and I think thats it in this movie.

What little action scenes there was were fun to watch and all in all I would say go see this movie. Then buy it on Blu-Ray.

reviewed by

-Albert

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THE GOODS:LIVE HARD SELL HARD

Thursday, August 20th, 2009

The Goods:Live Hard Sell Hard

Alright so I was going to see this movie last friday when I saw D-9 but the girlfriend didnt want to and started going all crazy as to how we already saw a movie that day and she didnt want to see another….. so i tok her to see it yesterday!

Ok so I saw this movie over at the Burbank 16 which is the AMC NEXT to the mall and NOT NOT NOT the one AT the mall. FREE PARKING EVERYWHERE!!! It was a nice theatre and they had TWO count em TWO sizes of ICEE’s!! That got me excited bc ive never been to a theatre that had a small and large size ICEE. Its always that one small size for $4.75. Not here though. I bought the LARGE one which is 2.5x’s the size of the small one for $4.75!! Lol. Have you ever noticed that when you buy an ICEE you are asked, “What flavor would you like?” and you then say, “(insert color name here)!!”…..LOL! Colors arnt flavors ppl…but its ok I get all excited and yell “BLUE!! GIVE ME BLUE!”

Alright so the movie…Its stars Jeremy Piven as a mercenary for hire in the used car world. He travels across the country weekend after weekend selling a shit load of cars for dealerships that are in trouble and thats what lands him in Temecula CA…..now for those of you who have ever been to Temecula….well you know its like Fresno…or Bakersfeild….and for those of you who have never been to any of these cities its bc they are small, ugly, remote, and just full of nothing except maybe cattle.

OK so in watching this movie you will know and remember just about everyone in this movie as it seems that every comedy movie is not recycling every actor again and again. And I’ll just say it up front. The movie sucked. Thank God I had free passes to this thing. I laughed maybe twice and it wasnt LOL it was just a chuckle…The movie tried really hard for a laugh and was just silly at times. The movie had potential and I say this bc I use to be a used car salesman and the thigs Ive seen…well they would of made a better movie than this one…funnier too.

Will Farrell is the new Sam Jackson as he cameo’s in this movie and just about every other one this year.

I think th eonly good movie Piven has ever done is Smokin Aces…if you havnt seen it then you’re missing out on life.

DJ DREAM…if you read this review…watch the movie….just bc there is a DJ in the movie thats a strip Club DJ thats exactly like you…His name is DJ Request but he doenst play anyones request bc he doenst want to be controlled….. lol…..”PLAY SOME BON JOVI!!”

So I will say “Stay away not today Disco Lady” to this movie…dont even watch it on dvd….if you happen to see it on cable in 3 years ok maybe…just dont pay to see it…

reviewed by

-Albert

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DISTRICT 9

Friday, August 14th, 2009

District 9

Peter Jackson presents Disctrict 9. That means he produced it not directed it people.

Ok so District 9 takes place in modern day South Africa and its all about some aliens that land on earth in 1982. Fast Forward 28 years later and we get thrown into a MNU (Multi National United) conspiracy. MNU is a private defense company that is after the alien technology. The problem is that, like in Judge Dredd, the guns only work with the corrrect DNA. In this case :alien DNA. We follow an MNU agent that is in charge of the new movement situation. The south africans are getting pist that the aliens are living amongst them and after pressuring the government , MNU is set to relocate them into District 10 which is 200 km outside of  Johannesburg.

The movie is shot mainly handheld like a field news crew and the other part is shot like a documentary that recaps the live situations. The CG is GREAT like OMG GREAT. I say this bc all of the aliens were in CG and just about every wide shot has the mother ship in the background floating over the city. I tip my hat to the CG artists bc the movie was shaky and thats what made the CG so great. It was all motion blured so it wasnt so crisp and clear that it looked fake. The alien weapons were CG too as they blew the shit out of everything and the entire second half of the movie is one long ass action sequence.

I’ll admit that the first half was kinda boring as it was just the MNU agent going hut to hut trying to evict the aliens to move them to D-10 but once the shit hit the fan it was all action from there. The movie has some jokes here and there and is rather cruel and bloody with the treatment of the aliens by the south african gangs and the other humans but it was really just an apartide.

Now the bad was that there was no launch to this movie. Its not explained as to why these guys are here in the first place. Its explained that they land here but not why and that just bothered me. Or maybe they did say why and I missed it….anyone???

So in the sake of SCi Fi and how bad ass the CG is and how the success of this movie intales the launch of the HALO movie i say GO WATCH THIS NOW. Plus its very political in its obviously subtle ways. (Oxymoron…i know….)…..(also its not stupid like “The Happening”)

So go see this and THEN go buy it on blu-ray….best Sci Fi movie since ……Blade Runner???

Reviewed by

-Albert

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Julie and Julia

Friday, August 7th, 2009

Julie and Julia

Well we got back to back chick flicks as I went to see Julie and Julia today!

I figured bc the girlfriend wanted to see it and I may not of liked it id spend less money and see the matinee……bad idea. The theatre was crowded as hell! I was like, “oh no one will be at a 2pm show on a friday.” But everyone and their grandmothers were there….literally. Apparently the target audience, woman and senior citzens, filled the place at 2pm bc they would be a sleep by 8:30pm.

So Julie and Julia….based on two true stories…and two books!

So the movie stars Amy Adams and Maryl Streep where Adams plays Julie, a post 9/11 New Yorker who works in an insurance company for 9/11 people. Streep plays Julia in post WWII Paris.

The movie has two time lines as the two stories are told 60 years a part. Streep goes over an 8 yr span of trying to get her first book published and Adams goes for a 1 year quest to cook everything in Julia Child’s book. Through the year she will blog and hope someone hears her.

This movie is not a comedy or a documentary or a romance and its not really dramatic… ok ill say its a semi comedy reenactment hows that?

The movie was fun and entertaining as I think Streep did a great impersonation of Julia Child’s but what sucked was the ending bc i felt there was no real closure. Its like the movie was one giant episode and now a movie.

Adams looked hot again but it took me a while to get use to her tom boy look. Id still do her though.

Oh and ewwww French people put pounds of butter on everything….but the food did look AWESOME!

I need to go to a french place. Who wants to go with me?

Bon appetit

wait for the Blu Ray on this one.

reviewed  by

-Albert

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