Now what happened to those days? What happened to the 80’s and 90’s the era of the action hero? Yes we’ve seen a the recent trend in 50 year old actors bring back Rambo,Die Hard,Terminator and the problem with those movies is that these guys are no longer in their primes and they arn’t Sean Connory so its goofy looking and totally unrealistic beyond its own means. Now we have super heroes and fantasy heroes running around and though i find those movies entertaining we need the next Jackie Chan. We need the next Segal,Stallone,Swarzena..schwazena..Governator…to blow things up, shoot first ask questions later, to have those ridiculous one liners that will live forever and to have a man put in an extraordinary situation giving him no choice but to become extraordinary himself. What happened to the average guy who just so happens to know kung fu and is a body builder who is a weapons expert and now works a desk job at a used car lot in middle America who’s family gets kidnapped by international spies because of his past who then forces him to do something to get them back? Well you want to know what happened to them? Watch JCVD. It turns out they are living in Belgium and are holding up Post Offices because they need money to fight a custody battle.

JCVD premiered in US theatres in November 2008 (June 08 in France) but was in extremely limited release only playing in two theaters in the Los Angeles area. I got lucky and saw it as a screener DVD with a industry friend. This film should have been nominated for Best Foreign Film at this year’s Oscars. JCVD is about a 47 year old Jean Claude Van Damme (JCVD) who is fighting a custody battle, has little work, and ends up walking in on a robbery while in Belgium. Through a series of unfortunate events the police think its JCVD robbing the place and well he is forced by the robbers to play along. About 85 percent of the movie is in French so its subtitled and it runs for an hour and a half. Think “Being John Malkovich” only no wormhole and with some action and kung fu. The movie has a cool look to it and the camera work is fun. Only thing not fun was the random jump cuts in some scenes. Other than that no complaints.

It was funny and I had a great time watching JCVD tell his somewhat life story while playing himself in this movie. In real life JCVD has starred in at least 1 movie every year since 1984 but they have all been foreign or straight to DVD since like 1999. The movie plays out like “Memento” in chunks and backwards. The Muscles from Brussels is followed through out the day just going from one bad experience to another. Even with all the praise, respect, and admiration he receives from everyone he encounters he still can’t land a role because they go to Steven Segal after he agrees to cut off his signature ponytail. Then what he does get sucks because his agent doesn’t even bother to read the scripts. Its rather funny to see him make reference to his old movies while in this robbery/hostage situation. Just telling the robbers what bad guys in his films do while he kicks cigarettes out of peoples mouths was funny. At the same time it’s sad to see him as a person because outside this robbery the movie truly is his life. He blames his current situation on living his boyhood dream of becoming a star. If he was never famous he believes he would have found love only once and it never would have been a drug.

So be sure to catch this JCVD flick. He is currently working on Universal Soldier III. This is out on DVD via NetFlix and should be hitting American shelves this February.

If you guys are into foreign cinema check out the Vengeance movies by Korean director/writer Chan-wook Park. Mr. Vengeance, Old Boy, and Sympathy for Lady Vengeance. Mind you they are all very great but graphic movies.

reviewed by
-Albert

but ok

SEMI PRO

This is the new sports Will Farrell movie where he plays Jackie Moon and singer who buys the Flint Michigan Tropics which is an ABA team. It was a basketball league that merged with the NBA in the late 70’s. Anyway this movie scared me a bit bc im always 50/50 with Will Farrell.  Ron Burgundy sucked and so did Blades of Glory but Talladega Nights was awesome. I mean i cant see him as a leading man. Him as the main character isnt always a good thing. Now him as a supporting character (Night at the Roxbury, Old School, and whatever cameos he does) is pure money. But ya the movie

This one failed. It wasnt too funny. I laughed twice. And even then not to hard. It was more of a chuckle than an LOL. I mean i really dont know what to say, it wasnt too funny. But the story was good and it wasnt too long or too short. But what he was missing was a side kick. He had no supporting actor to carry his jokes, instead he had the basketball team to help and well Woody Harrelson wasnt here to be funny like you have expected. I dont know just wait for this one to hit cable.

then i saw some Dvd’s and well i think you should know about them.

KING OF KONG

I originally wanted to see King of Kong when it was out in Theatres but the GF didnt want to and really there was only one theatre within 50 miles of me playing it in downtown Santa Monica. But man am i glad i saw it.

This is a documentary about a Seattle Science teacher who really has come in second place in everything in his life and one day he decides he will break the world record for most points in a the OG Donkey Kong game. So one day Steve (the teacher) beats Billy’s (current record holder and poster boy of arcade games) record and films it and sends it to TWIN GALAXIES, they are the official score keepers of such things but since Steve was contacted by some guy who hates billy they disqualified his score and well Steve then goes out to prove he is the best by beating the record in person. Through out the entire documentary Billy is a douchebag who refuses to talk/meet/play steve. But man s this thing funny. its amazing to see how these grown men act. Not bc they play games but bc they all act like they are in jr high with their secrets and alliances towards each other. its a great movie. after seeing it my GF ate her words and thought it was fantastic. you find yourself rooting for the steve the whole time. Its basically steve v.s the world in this movie.

i would go rent this now. its great you’ll like it.

RENDITION

This was another movie i wanted to see in theatres and im glad i didnt. Its 2 hours long when it should only be 10 mins long. Its about an Egyptian US National that gets captured by the CIA on suspicion of helping terrorists. The reason i say it should only be ten mins long is bc ten mins into it everything gets solved. he gets captured then they (US GOV) find no ties of any kind to him withing the CIA/INTERPOL/Egyptian GOV/or anything but Meryl Streeps character who is a high ranking politician says she wants to keep him and get info from him. So the movie goes in a full circle for no reason and it really does go full circle bc you later find out most of the movie was played backwards via flashback. But ya id pass on this. I mean yes i get what its saying “The US gov just grabs ppl and tortures them for no reason” but c’mon the movie wasnt good and i mean it wasnt boring or slow, it was just predictable bc you know what the intentions of every character are as you meet them through out the movie. Broke Back Jake J is in the movie too and i have to say he did a good job in this one, but bc the story was weak and the overall movie was too id say Stay Away Not Today Disco Lady to this movie.

so save your time on this rental and go get KING OF KONG. Even if you hate video games you’ll love the real life story this 90min documentary displays.

ok well till next time party people

thanks for reading

reviewed by

-albert

OH!

ya we just shot this weekend. Check out the pictures on the website for a look at what we shot.

thanks

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thanks for all the support everyone

-albert