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The Forbidden Kingdom

Saturday, April 19th, 2008

The Forbidden Kingdom

OK well this movie is 20 years in the making in my opinion. Jackie Chan and Jet Li i mean it doesnt get any better than that. Its like having Stallone and Schwarzenegger in the same film. Its like having Lucy Pinder and Sophie Howard in bed at the same time!! Its just too much. But ever since i was a small child i always asked for this movie. Always asked “Who would win in a fight? Jackie Chan or Jet Li?” Im a huge Jackie Chan fan if you guys havnt notice from other reviews of mine. But yes the movie!

Ok well this movie is about a White kid from South Boston who is friends with an old chinese pawn shop owner and receives the monkey king staff one night and it sends him back in time so that he may return it. Ok as bias as i am for Jackie Chan, this isnt a Jackie Chan movie. The fights are cool and there are many but they arnt Jackie Chan fights that are all crazy and nutz. The movie does have Chan comedy but the story and the dialogue are border line retarded. Assuming this wasnt a Chan movie id say it was horrible. But Bc he is in it it made the movie entertaining bc i dont think anyone could of pulled it off like he did. Jet Li does a weird acting job here bc he puts on even more of an asian accent and the weird thing is that everyone speaks chinese with englis sub titles but also speaks english! or engrish…. lol check out www.engrish.com you’ll like it.

overall id say watch it bc its Chan and Li but really if your not a fan you wont appreciate its so wait for the dvd on this one.

also

Vol.5 was completed on Thursday. Thank God for that. I will spend the rest of the weekend and monday cutting it and turning it in on Tuesday. Go check it out May 3rd along with “A killer weekend” at the Car Less Drive In at LA Mission College. Its a Saturday from 6-9 and its free. I will also be working on a dvd so you guys can take it home that night along with some stickers. that way you can see the behind the scenes and bloopers and what not.

so ya check it out

thanks

reviewed by

albert

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Leather Heads

Monday, April 7th, 2008

Leather Heads

alright well this movie stars george clooney (he also directed) renee zellweger and that one guy from “the office” (i think) that looks like the guy that plays “chuck”.

Ok so the movie takes place in 1925 where college football is king and well the pros are just a bunch of WWI vets that decide to beat each other up a few days a a week. The movie follows George Clooney, a WWI Vet that is 45 and is trying to keep pro football alive. While at the same time (the guy from the office, dont know his name. sorry) is a WWI hero and a current student at Princeton as well as the best football player in the country. After Clooney’s team and most other teams go bankrupt he goes after the war hero so that he can get attendance up in the pro game. Zellweger plays a reporter looking to ruin the hero’s life and thats how we get Leather Heads.

At the time (1925) pro football was a joke bc no one played football after college bc football was just a sport and a hobby not a profession. Many great college football stars got their degrees and became professionals in their respective fields after college. In a way the movie shows/follows that and the start of the league by having congress appoint a commissioner and SET RULES. That was also a reason pro football was considered a joke. It had no set rules like the college game did.

Overall the movie was ok. I saw it bc nothing else seemed interesting and i hadnt gone to the movies in about a month bc of school and work. I’d say to wait for the rental. its a little over 2 hours long and i really thought it started to drag out towards the end. This story could of been told in less time.

so ya wait for the rental or cable version or something.

reviewed by

-albert

ALSO!

Dont forget!

MAY 3rd!!! I will be showing ” A Killer Weekend” and if all goes well “Vol.5″ at the 5th annual Car Less Drive-IN at Los Angeles Mission College. Its a Saturday from 6pm-9pm and its FREE!

So tell the world and come check out the films. Thanks everyone.

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Semi-Pro……King of Kong Fist Full of Quarters …… Rendition

Sunday, March 2nd, 2008

Well this is my first review in about a month. Freakn school and work have me from 6am-10pm Mon-Fri and Im still chipping away at my latest film project Vol.5. That and every time I get free time the GF refuses to see what i want.

but ok

SEMI PRO

This is the new sports Will Farrell movie where he plays Jackie Moon and singer who buys the Flint Michigan Tropics which is an ABA team. It was a basketball league that merged with the NBA in the late 70’s. Anyway this movie scared me a bit bc im always 50/50 with Will Farrell.  Ron Burgundy sucked and so did Blades of Glory but Talladega Nights was awesome. I mean i cant see him as a leading man. Him as the main character isnt always a good thing. Now him as a supporting character (Night at the Roxbury, Old School, and whatever cameos he does) is pure money. But ya the movie

This one failed. It wasnt too funny. I laughed twice. And even then not to hard. It was more of a chuckle than an LOL. I mean i really dont know what to say, it wasnt too funny. But the story was good and it wasnt too long or too short. But what he was missing was a side kick. He had no supporting actor to carry his jokes, instead he had the basketball team to help and well Woody Harrelson wasnt here to be funny like you have expected. I dont know just wait for this one to hit cable.

then i saw some Dvd’s and well i think you should know about them.

KING OF KONG

I originally wanted to see King of Kong when it was out in Theatres but the GF didnt want to and really there was only one theatre within 50 miles of me playing it in downtown Santa Monica. But man am i glad i saw it.

This is a documentary about a Seattle Science teacher who really has come in second place in everything in his life and one day he decides he will break the world record for most points in a the OG Donkey Kong game. So one day Steve (the teacher) beats Billy’s (current record holder and poster boy of arcade games) record and films it and sends it to TWIN GALAXIES, they are the official score keepers of such things but since Steve was contacted by some guy who hates billy they disqualified his score and well Steve then goes out to prove he is the best by beating the record in person. Through out the entire documentary Billy is a douchebag who refuses to talk/meet/play steve. But man s this thing funny. its amazing to see how these grown men act. Not bc they play games but bc they all act like they are in jr high with their secrets and alliances towards each other. its a great movie. after seeing it my GF ate her words and thought it was fantastic. you find yourself rooting for the steve the whole time. Its basically steve v.s the world in this movie.

i would go rent this now. its great you’ll like it.

RENDITION

This was another movie i wanted to see in theatres and im glad i didnt. Its 2 hours long when it should only be 10 mins long. Its about an Egyptian US National that gets captured by the CIA on suspicion of helping terrorists. The reason i say it should only be ten mins long is bc ten mins into it everything gets solved. he gets captured then they (US GOV) find no ties of any kind to him withing the CIA/INTERPOL/Egyptian GOV/or anything but Meryl Streeps character who is a high ranking politician says she wants to keep him and get info from him. So the movie goes in a full circle for no reason and it really does go full circle bc you later find out most of the movie was played backwards via flashback. But ya id pass on this. I mean yes i get what its saying “The US gov just grabs ppl and tortures them for no reason” but c’mon the movie wasnt good and i mean it wasnt boring or slow, it was just predictable bc you know what the intentions of every character are as you meet them through out the movie. Broke Back Jake J is in the movie too and i have to say he did a good job in this one, but bc the story was weak and the overall movie was too id say Stay Away Not Today Disco Lady to this movie.

so save your time on this rental and go get KING OF KONG. Even if you hate video games you’ll love the real life story this 90min documentary displays.

ok well till next time party people

thanks for reading

reviewed by

-albert

OH!

ya we just shot this weekend. Check out the pictures on the website for a look at what we shot.

thanks

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There will be Blood

Tuesday, January 8th, 2008

THERE WILL BE BLOOD

Based upon a novel, OIL!, by the prolific writer Upton Sinclair, THERE WILL BE BLOOD kicks it old school. My friend Armando described it as “CITIZEN KANE but better,” and while I agree that it is a piece of cinematic artistry, unlike CITIZEN KANE, THERE WILL BE BLOOD holds no punches as it delivers an epic tale of ugly humanity or lack there of.

It is such a beautifully filthy marathon of a film. The jarring music clashes with the forlorn scenery to create an atmosphere of unrest and untold dangers, masked under the soil as well as the face of Daniel Day-Lewis’s character, Daniel Plainview.

THERE WILL BE BLOOD revolves around the life and times of Daniel Plainview, a souless anti-social oil tycoon who is brought to a desert town in California to drill an ocean of oil. His effect on the surrounding towns people and land brings about interesting circumstances, to say the least.

I must wonder what sort of madness inspires that fuel with which Daniel Day-Lewis sets the silver screen a blaze. The mastery with which he lives in front of the camera is nothing short of captivating. While his supporting cast was superb (kudos to Paul Dano, he definitely held his own) they are dwarfed by DDL’s presence.

My issues with the film are minimal. It’s long. Very long. At 2 hours and 38 minutes, it might be best not to invite the kids or those with A.D.D. If you are expecting something action packed and quickly paced, this movie will not be for you. While far from dull, TWBB requires quite a bit of patience and attention. However, A film of this calibre deserves that much.

If you really take your movies seriously and enjoy being led on a cinematic journey for extended lengths of time, I would most definitely recommend THERE WILL BE BLOOD. You will not be disappointed.

This film is black gold.

Review by,

Uno The Sexy Man Beast

From Albert

This is a LIMITED ENGAGEMENT. See it while you can. It wont get wide release (from what ive heard) and is currently only playing at The Archlight Cinemas in Hollywood and the new one in Sherman Oaks located in the Sherman Oaks Galleria where the old (i think it was an AMC) theatre was. TWBB recently started playing in Sherman Oaks.

And as some of you may know, the Sherman Oaks Archlight is new and not at the same time. Its in the Galleria where the old theatre was. The plus is that you dont pay for parking and that the most you pay for a ticket here is $11.50 and not $14 like at Archlight Hollywood. The bad…well its an Archlight. You pay $3-5 more than anywhere else, showings are few and far in between. They have arranged seating and teh concession stands are not normal!

well thats just me.

i gotta see this film. im not one for long films but ppl say its good and Daniel Day Lewis just won best actor at some award show i saw while channel surfer earlier today. so it must be good.

thanks to Richard for the movie review.

-albert

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Alien v.s Predator Requiem……AVP-R or simply Part 2

Wednesday, December 26th, 2007

Well Happy Holidays everyone, i hope you guys spent it with friends and loved ones and are all still perfectly ok.

I saw AVP-R after work today and i only saw it bc i saw the first one and both predator movies and just two alien movies. So i felt obligated to see this one.

AVP-R starts off where part one left off. The Predators leave and as they get on their ship one of the dead predators had an Alien baby in it that turns it into a Super Alien, like a Predator Alien. It takes out all the predators on the ship and then it crash lands in Colorado somewhere. As the last Predator is dying he sends an S.O.S to the home world of the Predators and One…just ONE predator comes to earth in a matter of minutes to kick some ass.

Now i wasnt too impress with it bc the action wasnt all to great bc it all took place at night and like Transformers, the fight scenes were close up and dark so it was hard to tell what the hell was happening. Also i was disappointed with the kills, not many of them were shown. They would just cut away to blood squirts or to the next scene. It followed the guide lines of a horror movie too, i thought that was weird bc the slut dies, so does the black guy, the bully, the sheriff, it takes place in a forest like town that is way away from anything and well you get the picture.

Overall it thought it moved slow for a 90 min movie and well i dont recommend you see this in theatres, save your $9+ and eat a decent meal or buy some ga. wait for the dvd or watch it at someone else’s expense or something but dont waste your own money on this one.

ALSO!!!!!!
Back in 2004 i worked on a Short called Batman:Dead End and it was the number one non pornographic download on the net according to Maxim Magazine. So ya check it out. It was shot by my friend Vince Toto. But ya check it out its a cool scene with Predator and Aliens and Batman.

Link to Batman:Dead End____ http://vincetotodp.com/batmandeadend.htm

thanks

-albert

p.s

sorry its not a clickable link but i havnt figured out how to do that with WordPress yet so if anyone can help id appreciate it.

thanks again

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SWEENEY TODD

Thursday, December 20th, 2007

Sweeny Todd

Ah so yes Sweeny Todd. I was invited to a pre premier day of Sweeney Todd at the grove and i had to say that i was gona watch the movie anyway. i say this bc those of you who know me and read my reviews know that im not a very big Johnny or Burton or Elfman or a fan of i guess any actor or person who had anything to do with this movie.

why? idk why i just dont like their work. but i was gona see this regardless bc i saw trailers and thought the cinematography was great as well as the visual effects, and you know what? They were.

The story is nothing new, its about a man who has a hot wife and another man (one in power) wants her so he gets rid of the husband. 15 years Later Todd returns for vengeance!!

Im not fond of musicals either but this movie was very entertaining running about 2 hours. it was clever and well paced but if you pay close attention to the subtle things (i will not say no more than that) the movie becomes extremely predictable. The imagery and irony in this movie are well taken and really my only 2 complaints are that the songs often ran too long and that the editing wasnt the sharpest (continuity errors). but the music was great and the acting was better, not necessarily the singing from some characters, but the acting was great. shots were great and the visuals were even better.

id say to definitely watch this in theatres its BIG FISH meets KILL BILL. Its a wonderland of blood really. Graphic kills and singing make interesting.

so yes see this

ALSO!!!!!

WE HAVE SWEENEY TODD POSTCARDS TO GIVE TO YOU GUYS AS OUR CHRISTMAS CARDS!!! THEY WERE GIVEN TO US AT THE SHOW. THEY ARE TOTALLY FREE AND WE WILL SHIP THEM AS SOON AS WE GET YOUR ADDRESS. SO HERE’S WHAT YOU DO. LOGIN TO THE SITE. (NOT THE THE MYSPACE!!!!!!) LOG IN TO THE FILM REVIEW PAGE, LEAVE A COMMENT WITH YOUR ADDRESS, NO NEED FOR FULL OR REAL NAMES AND WE WILL SEND SWEENEY TODD CHRISTMAS POST CARDS TO I THINK THE FIRST 25 PEOPLE OR SO.

SO LOG IN TO THE FILM REVIEW PART OF THE SITE AND LEAVE A COMMENT AND ITS ALL YOURS.

(NOT THE MYSPACE!!!!!!)

-REVIEWED BY

ALBERT

P.S

HAPPY HOLIDAYS PARTY PEOPLE. BE SAFE. DONT LET DRUNK PEOPLE DRIVE.

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FILM REVIEWS ON BOP 15

Thursday, December 13th, 2007

Hey everyone so i finally started posting the Film Reviews on my site.

If you’d like to see reviews prior to these they are on the Bop 15 Myspace page at : www.myspace.com/ballsoutpen15productions

subscribe to it!

thanks for all the support everyone

-albert

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