Gran Torino

January 11th, 2009

GRAN TORINO

Well Well Well
Im back with my reviews and you may or may not care but if you’re reading then you probably care and well thanks.

ok well Gran Torino is about an elderly korean war vet who’s wife just died and well he is a FORD American and he is seeing the world take a wrong turn in his every day life. This movie premiered DEC 5 but in only two places in my area and well the ARCH LIGHT was one of them and again fuck arc light 16+ a ticket plus parking is stupid (i saw rock n rolla there tho)

His wife dies, his kids and grand kids are ungrateful sons of bitches, his neighborhood went from working class white Americans in Michigan to lower class asian immigrants.

So Clint Eastwood basically plays a racist war vet who is placed in awkward situations all the time. Maybe it was me and my racist side being at the movies but i was laughing my ass off a lot and so was everyone else. It was just funny the way he spoke bc he spoke like some white old dude from the south. it was funny.

overall the story was good and Eastwood looks like you wouldnt want to mess with him even at the age of like 90. he looked tough. his acting was solid and so was the acting of the other ppl you recognize but the asian kids and his priest were not good at all.

id say wait for this one on Blu Ray

Ok so ive been away from reviews since like august. So happy halloween, thanksgiving, christmas,new years, and everything else. As you may or may not remember i quit my job in july and was jobless till early Nov. That meant i had no money for anything esp when i was like 9k in debt to my credit cards.

“WHY QUIT WHEN YOU OWE SO MUCH DAMN MONEY!?!?”

Great question. Well sometimes boys and girls you have to say, “Fuck you! Fuck You! Fuck You! You’re cool and Fuck You..I’m OUT!” Ya sometimes its just not worth it. Questioning your job means you dont like it.

Here: If you dont know what to do in life do what i do.

Ask yourself these questions.

What do I love to do?
What do people need?
What pays a lot of money?

If those three things are the same thing then thats what you should do in life.

Well i love making films/shorts and people need entertainment and well it pays enough to be happy and so im still doing this only somewhere else. Im currently on Temp status bc ive only been there since NOV but in March ill know if imma stay on.

but my cc debt is down to 46oo and i have money to see movies again.

now i did see Rock n Rolla and it was good. i just never got around to reviewing it.

Imma go see JCVD soon. maybe after work this week. Its a new Jean Claude Van Damn (sp?) movie. Hence JCVD. Maybe The Day the Earth Stood Still. Transformers 2 this summer.

but yes like ive said before if its too much to pay for the movie at the theatre im just gona wait for the Blu Ray. two ppl at movies is at least 30+ a Blu Ray is 30 and if i dont like it ill sell it for half. Thank God gas is down. It went fron 4.85 in Aug/Sept to 1.55 in DEC and now 1.85 in Jan. (i live in Los Angeles)

imma start reviewing food online like i did for the Sundial at CSUN (i graduate in 1 year). The website (not up yet) is www.AveragePalate.com. I was also blogging on College Football and the season is now over but i will be starting www.BCSorBUST.com soon where it will be all collegefootball all the time.

Current projects include the food review site, MatadorMafia.com, a project for Comicon this year, and im still working on that comedy spanish soap opera. Need to make more short videos as well.

IM LOOKING TO MAKE MUSIC VIDEOS!!!!
So if you guys know ppl in the Los Angeles area who are interested in having one made have them contact me.

ok well see you guys soon.

-Albert

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Films, NEWS | No Comments »

TROPIC THUNDER

August 16th, 2008

Tropic Thunder

GET SOME!

Lol ok so I went and saw this at the cinerama dome and there was this one guy with a hooker there. It was funny bc she totally looked like trailer trash but she thought she was all hot and what not. lol. she was in super short shorts stripper heels and a small tube top. what a whore.

ok so the movie. It stars Ben Stiller, Robert Downey Jr and Jack Black as well as about 12 or more cameos by a great random cast. Its about a bunch of actors who are out to film the best action movie ever made but they are all a bunch of pre modanas and well the director gets fed up and after some suggestions decides that he will rig the jungle with cameras and let his actors roam through it and hopefully land a great scene here and there. Things turn for the worst and what you end up with is a great actions comedy.

Ill have to rank this movie #3 this year behind Iron Man and Batman. It was funny and it had me laughing out loud every few minutes. Then the action sequences were very cool. I liked em a lot. Robert Downey Jr did a great job playing a dude disguised as another dude and Stiller and Black were there for every funny moment. I want to see this again. You should go see it in theatres. I think you’ll enjoy it.

dont stay after the credits nothing happens but the ending sequences are very cool. oh and there are i think 4 fake movie trailers to start the movie that are pretty funny. so yes go see this movie.

reviewed by

-Albert

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Films | No Comments »

Starship Troopers 3

August 13th, 2008

Starship Troopers 3

Yep you read it right. part 3. Some of you may know there was a part two that went straight to dvd and well so did part three. It was released this tuesday and well its obvious why it went there.

Ok so the story. Rico is back and he is killing bugs. Heck crazy bugs even scorpion bugs now. So this high ranking official goes missing bc his ship gets shot down and well its Rico and the crew to the rescue. I think he is the only person back from the OG Starship Troopers.

Ok well the movie was slow as hell and its about 92 mins. Its not as bad as part two but its pretty bad. Uwe Bolle looks to be its director but he wasnt. Its that bad. The CG is Sci Fi channel CG and the dialogue and action sequences are lame. Its as if the movie had no no no budget. It was also very predictable and for whatever reason it was very religous. I dont know why they chose that route but ok.

Ya i mean if you saw the first two watch this if you havnt seen any of them stay away.

reviewed by

-Albert

p.s

Hey if you’re an actor and looking to build a reel. let me know

Thanks

Tags: ,
Posted in Films | No Comments »

PineApple Express

August 10th, 2008

PineApple Express

ok so i saw this movie last WED but i just havnt had the time to sit here write and post and what not bc i was working on some Zombie movie this whole week. Not my zombie movie just some one i shot as a favor for a friend of mine. But yes i went to see this PineApple Express movie and let me tell you: If you are going to see this bc you are looking for pine apples or milk shakes then you’re not gona be happy.

well this movie stars seth rogan and james franco in the story of a court sever (i think thats what they are called) who is on his way to serve some one with some court papers when he witnesses a murder. He sees one drug dealer pop another one and well shit then rolls down hill. Rogan runs back to his dealer franco and when he tells him he is the only person in town with PineApple Express and that the joint Rogan dropped is gona get traced back to them they run like hell.

the movie is about 2:15 and has plenty of action and comedy. There is actually a lot of action in this movie and its pretty good. the movie is rather entertaining and its just what you’d expect from these guys. There were a few LOL moments but most of it was just chuckles. But its funny and a good time. I got lucky too i think maybe bc it premiered on a wednesday but after the lights went down some asshole asked if anyone was high then the crowd cheered and that was that no one acted retarded.

nothing at the end of the credits so just watch and go.

i was not disappointed by this and i dont think you wont be either so go see this in theatres if you get a chance.

reviewed by

-Albert

Tags: , ,
Posted in Films | No Comments »

BATMAN:THE DARK KNIGHT

July 19th, 2008

Batman: The Dark Knight

ok well I wanted to see this movie in an IMAX theatre up every one in my area was sold out for the entire weekend and well I didnt want to wait to see it in a few weeks. Seeing that I quit my job last week I was able to sit outside a theatre yesterday. I was excited to see this but refused to watch all the trailers bc i didnt want to over hype the film for myself and then be disappointed if it wasnt everything i imagined.

ok so the story.  Dark knight takes place a few months to a year after the last movie where Joker has been giving everybody including the mob problems. Eventually the mob hires him to take out the batman as he is the source of the problem. At the same time new District Attorney,Harvey Dent, is trying to clean up the city by actually doing his job and not being all crooked and crazy.

ok so hands down the movie was really good. IRON MAN WAS BETTER. I dont care what you say IRON MAN WAS BETTER. I just had a better time seeing Iron Man. But that takes away nothing from how good this movie was. The cinematography was grade “A” work and I LOVE that cooky ass Tim Burton DID NOT direct this and ruin it by making it all weird and childish while trying to be dark all at the same time. Thank god Danny Elfman didnt score this. I mean i like Elfman but his sound wouldnt of fit this movie. In fact i loved how most of the movie, including the action scenes, there wasnt much music outside the character themes. What i did HATE was that Maggie Gyllenhaal replaced Katie Holmes. I hate when characters are changed like that. And I mean cmon i know that she is young in real life but she looks old and really WTF Bruce Wayne could get any piece of ass he wants (as he shows it by showing up everywhere with three chicks) so why would he waste his time on her?? Yes i know they are childhood friends and all but still cmon he’s fucken Batman.

And I’m sorry did I miss something? WHO/WHAT/WHERE/WHY/WHEN did the Joker come from? This is the only Batman story I’ve ever seen that doesnt explain who he is. I mean in the OG Batman and in the cartoon and the comics, he is the person who killed Batman’s parents. He was some no name low level thug that get his face fucked up and goes crazy. But there was no explanation as to why he was in Gotham or where he came from or who he was….

again i loved the camera work and the effects and editing werent stupid and cheesy it was good. I liked it. I liked it a lot. Another thing that bothered me though and same as Batman Begins was the way Christian Baile changes his voice when he is Batman. I dont know i just dont like it. Heath Ledger was great as Joker. Assuming i didnt know it was him i never would of guessed he played the part. I guess its bc I had never seen him play a villain or a serious role (i didnt see Broke Back or The Order). Theres talk about him getting an Oscar for his performance and though it was good, i dont think its Oscar worthy. We’ll see what else comes out this year to compete with him. But I’m not taking anything away from him, I’m just saying he aint no Daniel Day or Russell Crowe.

and just to start shit imma say it right now. Christian Baile IS THE BEST BATMAN. I dont care what anyone says, its true. well ok Adam West is cool, but he aint no Christian Baile. I say this bc he plays off both Batman and Bruce Wayne. No one else did that. Kilmer played a good Batman but a horrible Wayne. He was too weird and serious and psychological to be Wayne. George Clooney…. well i like him but his suit had NIPPLES!!! WTF!! plus i cant see him in the suit not a good Batman. and as for Michael Keaton. He plays a good Wayne but not a good batman. I just cant see him with that hair of his as batman. idk. Baile is a great Batman for the same reason Downey Jr. was a great Tony Stark/Ironman…bc they can both play the parts of billionaire playboys and still be cool enough to be a super hero.

Overall Id say you make sure you see this in theatres and by it on blu ray when its available. BLU RAY not DVD. DVD doesnt do movies like this or 300 justice.

You’ll like it

also DO NOT STAY after the credits. NOTHING HAPPENS

reviewed by

-albert

SPOILER

SPOILER

SPOILER

SPOILER

SPOILER

SPOILER

SPOILER

Ok so I hate that Holmes got replaced and with Ledger dead he will be replaced as the Joker. But by who? I mean You’d figure they’d just lock him up in Arcum and be done with it. But Batman says it. He’ll get locked up and Joker replies with the whole I cant kill you. You’re too much fun and you won’t kill me. So we’re gona do this forever. That just tells me he is going to come back. Hell Scare Crow came back at the beginning of the movie as some petty drug dealer. WTF? I dont remember him escaping….. oh and when they do bring back the Joke, Harley Quinn has to be in the movie. i wonder who the next villains are going to be? WB already said that Catwoman and Penguin wont be coming back. They want to stay away from characters that have already been in the movies, but I mean who is left? Joker/Two face are already used. Then Mr.Freeze and Poison Ivy and Bain have been used so has The Riddler i mean there arnt that many Batman villains. Theres still that sludge guy. and they said NO ROBBIN. I dont care for Robbin im just saying.

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Films | No Comments »

HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY

July 14th, 2008

Ok well yes I know i havnt blogged a movie review in over a month but ive been super busy with school and work and well i quit my job and really nothing i wanted to see was out. I mean i did want to see the Hulk and Wall-E just couldnt find the time or money to do so. but anyway.

HellBoy II:The Golden Army

So the sequal has nothing to do with the first movie though it does take place afterwards. Its directed,written,produced, and just about everything else by Guillermo Del Torro. If you’ve seen Pan’s Labyrinth you’ll see the similarities almost immediately. Just with the shots and colors and monsters.

Ok well the storyline is that long long ago monsters and humans lived together and one day humans wanted total control so they fought and humans won. A troll then told the Elf King that he would build a Golden Army that is indestructible and he did and then the elves won the rematch. A truce was formed and the Golden Army was put to sleep and the movie starts off where the vengeful son of the elf king comes to modern day New Jersey to start up some shit and bring war to the humans.

In this movie HellBoy is seen by the public and well now the world knows about him and he loves it. The action is pretty good and theres plenty to go around. The movie was about 1h40m and i think it would of been longer so that things could of been explained better. everything seemed to happen real quick and the dialogue was pretty lame. But the cg wasnt that bad. Ya it was bad in some spots but for the most part it was good where it needed to be.

overall id say wait for the dvd and start waiting in line for Dark Knight after you read this.

reviewed by

-albert

Tags:
Posted in Films | No Comments »

The Strangers

June 2nd, 2008

The Strangers

Well going into it i could swear this was a remake or something and Im sure it is, i just havnt seen or heard of the “original” yet. I went and saw this at the Chinese Mann out in Hwood and well i liked it. Im not normally into movies about mindless human violence i.e SAW series and HOSTEL but not to be confused with great action movies like 300 but this movie was good. And even though it was about mindless human violence it wasnt grotesques and over done like the “horror” movies we’ve seen recently. It was much more suspenseful than just stab stab stabaroo.

So the movie is about a couple at the guys summer home back in Feb of 2005. This is apparently based on actual events but i dont know. So the couple left a wedding and is in the summer home when some chick knocks on the door looking for some woman that doesnt live there. It happens again and then shit starts to roll down hill.

the whole movie takes place in the summer home located somewhere in what i think is the western US but i dont know exactly because they dont say or atleast i didnt catch it when they said where they were. I say this bc the house is in a town that either woods or empty rodes and there appeared to be no neighboring houses.

the movie is very suspenseful but it kinda gives itself away with its camera angles bc you can see a lot of stuff coming but its still good. you’ll pay for the seat but only need the edge. Scary? not really. not unless you live in a similar area but it was good.

overall id go watch it. its a good time. but keep in mind that its a movie targeting a younger crowd so you might run into assholes and dumbasses who bring fucken todlers who cry into the movie theatre. WTF is wrong with you people?

but yes. go. go watch this.

reviewed by

Albert

Tags:
Posted in Films | No Comments »

IRON MAN

May 2nd, 2008

IRON MAN

Alright well one of my favorite superhero’s finally got his own movie and you know what. It was damn good. I liked it. I liked it alot. I dont know if its bc i like Robert Downey Jr or Tony Stark or just Iron Man but it was a good movie.

So the story goes that Tony goes out into the desert in Afghanistan to do a weapons demonstration for the US Military and well after the demonstration his convey gets attacked and he gets kidnapped. His terrorists captives then make him build a that missile he just demonstrated but he build his first Iron Man suit instead in order to escape. I dont get why someone like him wouldnt of had more protection. but whatever i still liked the movie. anyway ya he is held captive for three months,builds the suit,escapes,and returns back to the states.

I think the story line could of been a tad better but the cg looked good. The movie moves at a good pace for at 2hr 6mins. The fight scenes were nice (there should of been more) and the bad guys are a common enemy. And you know Gweneth Paultro looked good in this movie. I dont really like her at all that much but she looked good. I mean whats there not to like about a trillionaire playboy who gets all the hot chicks, is a genius, fights terrorists, and at the same time runs his corporation. Tony Stark is the cool kick ass version of Bill Gates. Oh ya after the movie stay through the credits. Theres one more scene at the very end.

Also DONT FORGET to see the premier of Vol.5 at the Car Less Drive In at LA Mission College this saturday thats tomorrow at 6pm ITS FREE FREE FREE so go check it out.

thanks in advance

reviewed by

-albert

SPOILER
SPOILER
SPOILER
SPOILER
SPOILER
SPOILER

after the credits and Tony Stark revealing to the world that he is Iron Man he goes back home only have Nick Fury standing in his living room. Now if you have seen Iron Man or any other Marvel cartoon or comic you know that Nick Fury is an older white man who is a CIA op and a WWII vet who has gray hair and an eye patch and is NOT NOT NOT Samuel L. Jackson but he was playing Nick Fury. Thats fucken lame i hate when they do shit like that and not bc i dont like SLJ (tho he is getting annoying bc he is in everything now) but bc i hate that they change characters so drastically, like having Micheal Clark Dunken play fucken King Pin in Dare Devil was fucken stupid too. but whatever. The scene is about 30 second slong and basically Fury says, “I am Iron Man…Mr Stark let me tell you about THE AVENGERS.”

then its over.

Posted in Films, NEWS | No Comments »

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

April 26th, 2008

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

ok so we get another movie from the guys who brot us super bad and the 40 year old virgin. the movie is about a guy who composes music for a CSI type show where he is also dating the main actress sarah marshall. she gets involved with a british musician and well she breaks up with composer boyfriend and to get over her he takes the advice of his step brother and goes on vacation. He ends up going to hawaii where sarah was also vacationing by coincidence.

well the movie is funny, not as funny as super bad but it was funny. theres a lot of man penis in this as well. but it was funny. not disgusting like Hostel II. and the reason i really like these movies is bc the dialogue is real. well in my case at least. the dialogue is just like every day dialogue and not like exaggerated lingo in fucken Juno. its just the way ppl talk. as for the situations they get into in this movie well they are a bit exaggerated but some what realistic. any way i liked it but what i didnt like and tell me if you see this: whenever they were out on the beach all the close up shots, 2 shots, some wide shots were all fake and composited. i dont know. that just bothered me when looking at it.

overall id liked liked it and i thought it was funny. go out and see it.

OH!!! ya and i saw this at the Cinerama Dome in H Wood. Id never been there before but its part of the ARC light. It sucked bc the ticket was an extra $1 bc it was in the Cinerama dome AKA THE DOME but it was a nice theatre.

ya so go watch this and Run Ralph Run Vol.5 this saturday May 3rd 2008 at LA Mission College in SLy Town Sylmar!  Its FREE FREE FREE and im working on a dvd to give to the ppl that go. it should be done. No promises. and if you gots urself a Bop 15 Shirt well rock it at the premier. Thanks!

reviewd by

-albert

Tags:
Posted in Films, NEWS | No Comments »

The Forbidden Kingdom

April 19th, 2008

The Forbidden Kingdom

OK well this movie is 20 years in the making in my opinion. Jackie Chan and Jet Li i mean it doesnt get any better than that. Its like having Stallone and Schwarzenegger in the same film. Its like having Lucy Pinder and Sophie Howard in bed at the same time!! Its just too much. But ever since i was a small child i always asked for this movie. Always asked “Who would win in a fight? Jackie Chan or Jet Li?” Im a huge Jackie Chan fan if you guys havnt notice from other reviews of mine. But yes the movie!

Ok well this movie is about a White kid from South Boston who is friends with an old chinese pawn shop owner and receives the monkey king staff one night and it sends him back in time so that he may return it. Ok as bias as i am for Jackie Chan, this isnt a Jackie Chan movie. The fights are cool and there are many but they arnt Jackie Chan fights that are all crazy and nutz. The movie does have Chan comedy but the story and the dialogue are border line retarded. Assuming this wasnt a Chan movie id say it was horrible. But Bc he is in it it made the movie entertaining bc i dont think anyone could of pulled it off like he did. Jet Li does a weird acting job here bc he puts on even more of an asian accent and the weird thing is that everyone speaks chinese with englis sub titles but also speaks english! or engrish…. lol check out www.engrish.com you’ll like it.

overall id say watch it bc its Chan and Li but really if your not a fan you wont appreciate its so wait for the dvd on this one.

also

Vol.5 was completed on Thursday. Thank God for that. I will spend the rest of the weekend and monday cutting it and turning it in on Tuesday. Go check it out May 3rd along with “A killer weekend” at the Car Less Drive In at LA Mission College. Its a Saturday from 6-9 and its free. I will also be working on a dvd so you guys can take it home that night along with some stickers. that way you can see the behind the scenes and bloopers and what not.

so ya check it out

thanks

reviewed by

albert

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Films, NEWS | No Comments »

« Older Entries
Newer Entries »